Thoughts and Prayers

I've been sitting on this one for a while. I wanted to wait until the crises hitting our country simmered down a bit, but it took longer than expected. Shootings, hurricanes, floods, sexual assault. So here I am, jumping into it, though it's likely going to be a sore topic for some.

I saw a comic a little while back that sparked this topic:






The message here is quite clear - anyone who says "thoughts and prayers" is doing nothing, or even worse than nothing. They are spouting their beliefs and not actually helping anyone. I see it all over "Stop with the thoughts and prayers - and actually DO SOMETHING!" It comes in various forms, but that is the message.

I'll start with what seems obvious to the faithful but may not be to others - when I pray for someone, I am literally asking an all powerful being I have complete faith in to intercede on their behalf. My ability to provide a concrete service may be limited, but God has no such limitations. I am using what I truly believe to be the greatest tool at my disposal. Sure, there are those who tweet or post it and aren't actually doing that - but assuming that's always the case is just another form of stereotyping.

The deeper issue here, however, is that it dismisses an entire group of people who - for all the reader of the tweet or post knows - ARE doing something to help. After I posted it regarding the hurricanes, I donated to relief efforts, as did many. People prayed for the victims, then stepped out to rescue them in boats. Sent water. Sent food. Opened their businesses and gave out food for free to keep them going. People who weren't in a position to directly help tried to impact the world around them in other ways to demonstrate care for others - stopping to help someone with a flat tire, paying for the coffee of the person behind them, or providing a homeless man with a jacket. Seeing "thoughts and prayers" and immediately blasting the person for not doing anything is like assuming everyone who tweets about loving Pepsi is drawing up plans to bomb a Coke factory. Prayers and action are not by any stretch of the imagination mutually exclusive.

And don't for a second think I'm letting us off the hook, fellow faithful. I want you to think about the last time you said "thoughts and prayers." Did you actually pray for the person or situation? Did you truly, with your heart in it, as God to help?

Even less comfortably, did you keep your heart open to listen to see if God wanted you to be part of the answer to that prayer? Because here's the thing - God uses people to answer prayers. When my daughter needed surgery, He used surgeons, nurses, parents of other kids with CHDs, and numerous others to help her and me. When a flood comes, He uses people with boats, people who donate, people who can step in and re-build. When a shooting occurs, He uses first responders, clergy, neighbors, therapists.

Prayer is powerful, but we need to be sure we aren't just paying lip service. That's what leaves the door open for others to say we are wasting our breath. And if there's anyone reading this who isn't among the faithful, please don't jump to conclusions. We are acting on our full faith in a higher power, and are also working in ways you can't see from a single tweet or post.

I Was Made in His Image - But You Weren't

You all know that I'm not the most consistent blogger. I'm here when I feel something strongly enough in my heart that I need to talk about it, and that's not all the time. But let me tell you - when I saw what happened in Charlottesville, my heart definitely felt something strongly - I just needed some time to collect my thoughts before I put them down in writing.

Before I get into the Biblical implications of prejudice, I'd like to address the matter from an historical angle for a moment. On the surface, one of the big issues was that people wanted to take down some statues of Confederate icons in the south, and those marching wanted to preserve history. I submit to you that even the people in those statues didn't want that history to be preserved. After the end of the Civil War, Robert E. Lee never put on his uniform again. He refused to fly the Confederate flag because the Confederacy was a failed experiment, and they lost the war. As a brief aside, I do find it mildly ironic that some of the same people shouting online "You lost - get over it!" to Hillary voters are the same people still proud of the Confederacy. The Civil War was a rebellion against the President and against progress that was put down. Can you imagine if we'd lost the Revolutionary War? Do you think that we'd still be flying American flags all over the place if we were an extension of the British colonies?  Those marching who revere Lee may have also missed this quote of his: "We should live, act, and say nothing to the injury of anyone. It is not only best as a matter of principle, but it is the path to peace and honor."

And speaking of flags, some of the demonstrators had swastikas and were performing Hitler salutes. Flying a Nazi flag in Germany is not something that is done - the swastika was banned because it represented hatred, subjugation, and death. The neo-nazi movement in America seems to have missed the point that the people who actually went through the Holocaust and survived the Nazis do not revere their ideals. We could certainly learn from that.

Historical elements aside, let's get back to the soul of this blog - what does God think about all of this? It is crucial that we look at this not only because God is sovereign over all things, but also because there were some who were spouting hatred of other races and religions that identified as Christians. I don't know their hearts, but it's my duty to lovingly chastise brothers and sisters who are not living according to His word, just as I would expect them to do the same for me, so that we can find better relationship with God and walk the proper path.

In keeping with God's perfect timing, I'm in the middle of the Bible study "Breaking Free" by Beth Moore right now, and a session not long before these marches directly addressed prejudice from a Biblical perspective. Beth was talking about family strongholds - what have you "inherited" from your family line that you need to break free from? Abuse? Alcoholism? Prejudice? And I absolutely love what Beth has to say about the latter:

"Prejudice is a grievous sin fueled by fear and ignorance...[that] propagates from the false notion that, if people are different, someone has to be better."

Someone has to be better - now what could be less Christian than that? I've mentioned before that being saved entails admitting that we are all sinners and declaring yourself to be no better than anyone else. And back to the title of this article - God didn't say that some of us were made in his image, but others were some random patterns he had sitting around. Every one of us was made in his image. EVERY. ONE. OF. US. When we seek to subjugate others, we are like the ruler who enslaved the Jews in Egypt. Look at this portion of Exodus, chapter 1:

8Now a new king arose over Egypt, who did not know Joseph. 9He said to his people, "Behold, the people of the sons of Israel are more and mightier than we. 10"Come, let us deal wisely with them, or else they will multiply and in the event of war, they will also join themselves to those who hate us, and fight against us and depart from the land."

Do you see how it was fear that led to the prejudice? We fear the unknown. We fear those not like us. And it's so much easier to just decide they are less than to actually get to know them and their individual character. No one said it was going to be easy to follow God. But it's still right.

Brothers and sisters, the Lord commands us to love one another. Will you reach out with me and love everyone - like or different? Will you speak up when you see hate? Will you pray for the love and peace of God to descend on anyone whose heart is full of fear? 

God says in Isaiah 54:10 "Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed." We may not be able to achieve His unfailing love, but let us take the love He has given us and share it with the world.

Condemnation and the Christian Police

I want you to imagine that you're going about your day, whether at work, school, the grocery store, or church. A friend quietly approaches you and whispers, "your shirt is inside out - you should probably duck into the bathroom and fix it." They then tell you about the time they went a whole day like that, and you both have a laugh, vowing to pay more attention the next time you get dressed.

Now image that same scenario, but your "friend" says, "Wow, you are really terrible at getting dressed. How do you not notice that? I would never be caught in public like that," and walks away.

It's hard to imagine a situation where an actual friend would act the way the one in the second scenario did. And yet, this is something you can find every day if you simply change "inside out shirt" to "heart issue" and "friend" to "fellow Christian."  Think about it - how many times have you heard someone say that another person "isn't being a good Christian" because of whatever sin they may be committing? I like to imagine these people as the "Christian police" - having taken it upon themselves to decide what is and is not a "good" Christian and making sure that those committing sins they consider unacceptable are condemned.

And that's the key word there - "condemned". One of the first things I learned in the mom Bible study I attended when I first joined my church was the difference between conviction and condemnation. Conviction, whether from ourselves or another person, is when an issue is recognized and pointed out in a loving way so that we can address the problem and grow in our walk with Christ - like the first example of the inside-out shirt. A great example of this happened to me a few months ago. I had said something, and a friend said to me, "I know you don't mean it that way, but when you say that, it sounds like you think you're better than others." I was stunned. She was right - I hadn't meant it that way. But once she kindly let me know how it came across, I was able to adjust my behavior and avoid making others feel small.

Condemnation, on the other hand, is simply meant to shame, without offering any guidance or advice. I saw this illustrated a few weeks ago. A woman I know said something to another that, if you didn't know the woman who said it and her situation, might have sounded a bit selfish or unkind. The second woman said to the first, "That's not being a very good Christian", and was surprised when the first woman got upset with her.

The key difference between these two is not only the delivery, but the heart behind it. If you are motivated to help your fellow Christians grow closer to Christ and are also willing to have others help you in that way even when it involves uncomfortable truths, chances are, you will convict. You know that you are a sinner just as much as any other person, and that we all need help. If, however, you are motivated by a sanctimonious need to show that you are a better Christian, or that another person's sins are worse than yours and they should be called out, you are going to condemn.

I think one of the issues here is that human beings seem to love nothing more than to feel righteous. "Look at how awful THEY are - thank goodness I'm not like that." It's why people read articles they know will only upset them. It's why people who mentally abuse their children will shake their head at how awful people who beat their children are. It's why we justify our own sins with "at least I'm not that bad. That's not Christian."

I've said before that one of the key elements of being saved is acknowledging that you are a sinner on the same level as anyone else. But being saved isn't just your "come to Christ" moment. It's a journey that lasts for your entire life, and it's not always a straight path. Once you are saved, it's easy to get so wrapped up in the benefits of grace that you forget that you did not deserve it. You didn't get it because you were better than anyone else. You didn't get it because you're so great that God chose you. You got it because He loves you, and because Jesus died for your sins. You put Christ on the cross exactly as much as anyone else you might be tempted to condemn. If that doesn't humble you, I don't think anything will.

You want someone to tell you if your shirt is inside out. If you have spinach in your teeth. If your skirt is tucked into your underwear (I once walked through my whole office that way - thankfully no one saw before I noticed). But you want them to be kind about it, not just tell you that you're awful.

I'll end with a verse because God can say it better than I can, no matter how long my posts are:

"Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?"

Matthew 7:3, New American Standard


***Revised for typos - I had a 3 year old in my lap for the first draft.